2014考研英語寫作160篇:論污染(考生作文批改及評分)_跨考網(wǎng)
寫作原文
As is vividly depicted in the picture, two drain pipes are draining much sewage into the river while some chimneys emit poison gas into the sky.(首段內(nèi)容較為簡略,可適當(dāng)添加)Why do(改為does) our environment get more and more bad(表達有誤,“越來越糟”應(yīng)表示為worse and worse)? The main reason is(后面若要跟句子,就應(yīng)該用從句來表述,加that) there are a lot of factories that(去掉) emit so much sewage and poison gas that aren't purified into our nature directly. Besides, we don't have a few good habits, so you can see littering, spitting and smoking frequently. There are so many people who are using plastic bag.Of course, we need plenty of factories because they will promote the development of our economy. But does it mean that our environment has to be contaminated? Our economy must be development(此處應(yīng)選擇動詞,改為developed), but it shouldn't be at the expense of the pollution of our environment. We shouldn't be so selfish that we disregard the next generation. (一句話中出現(xiàn)兩個we,不妥,建議作者將此句話改為:We shouldn’t be selfish to disregard to the next generation )We must protect our environment! On the one hand, it isn't until we dispose of sewage and poison gas that we can emit . On the other hand, we must encourage people to give up the bad habit(改為habits).Let's work together to have a beautiful country!
總體點評
文章結(jié)構(gòu)清晰,內(nèi)容完整??粗愕淖魑囊惶焯煊兴嵘?,我們?yōu)槟愀械礁吲d,這些都是你努力的結(jié)果。但是,文章中的一些小問題還是值得注意,比如一句話中最好不要出現(xiàn)兩個相同的單詞,遇到這種情況時,可以換一種思路,想想這個句子能不能用其他結(jié)構(gòu)表達,或者該詞能不能用它的近義詞代替等。之前強調(diào)的作者應(yīng)該繼續(xù)堅持。期待你的成功,加油吧!
參考分?jǐn)?shù)(滿分20分):13
2022考研初復(fù)試已經(jīng)接近尾聲,考研學(xué)子全面進入2023屆備考,跨考為23考研的考生準(zhǔn)備了10大課包全程準(zhǔn)備、全年復(fù)習(xí)備考計劃、目標(biāo)院校專業(yè)輔導(dǎo)、全真復(fù)試模擬練習(xí)和全程針對性指導(dǎo);2023考研的小伙伴針也已經(jīng)開始擇校和復(fù)習(xí)了,跨考考研暢學(xué)5.0版本全新升級,無論你在校在家都可以更自如的完成你的考研復(fù)習(xí),暑假集訓(xùn)營帶來了院校專業(yè)初步選擇,明確方向;考研備考全年規(guī)劃,核心知識點入門;個性化制定備考方案,助你贏在起跑線,早出發(fā)一點離成功就更近一點!
點擊右側(cè)咨詢或直接前往了解更多
考研院校專業(yè)選擇和考研復(fù)習(xí)計劃 | |||
2023備考學(xué)習(xí) | 2023線上線下隨時學(xué)習(xí) | 34所自劃線院??佳袕?fù)試分?jǐn)?shù)線匯總 | |
2022考研復(fù)試最全信息整理 | 全國各招生院??佳袕?fù)試分?jǐn)?shù)線匯總 | ||
2023全日制封閉訓(xùn)練 | 全國各招生院校考研調(diào)劑信息匯總 | ||
2023考研先知 | 考研考試科目有哪些? | 如何正確看待考研分?jǐn)?shù)線? | |
不同院校相同專業(yè)如何選擇更適合自己的 | 從就業(yè)說考研如何擇專業(yè)? | ||
手把手教你如何選專業(yè)? | 高校研究生教育各學(xué)科門類排行榜 |
相關(guān)推薦
跨考考研課程
班型 | 定向班型 | 開班時間 | 高定班 | 標(biāo)準(zhǔn)班 | 課程介紹 | 咨詢 |
秋季集訓(xùn) | 沖刺班 | 9.10-12.20 | 168000 | 24800起 | 小班面授+專業(yè)課1對1+專業(yè)課定向輔導(dǎo)+協(xié)議加強課程(高定班)+專屬規(guī)劃答疑(高定班)+精細(xì)化答疑+復(fù)試資源(高定班)+復(fù)試課包(高定班)+復(fù)試指導(dǎo)(高定班)+復(fù)試班主任1v1服務(wù)(高定班)+復(fù)試面授密訓(xùn)(高定班)+復(fù)試1v1(高定班) | |
2023集訓(xùn)暢學(xué) | 非定向(政英班/數(shù)政英班) | 每月20日 | 22800起(協(xié)議班) | 13800起 | 先行階在線課程+基礎(chǔ)階在線課程+強化階在線課程+真題階在線課程+沖刺階在線課程+專業(yè)課針對性一對一課程+班主任全程督學(xué)服務(wù)+全程規(guī)劃體系+全程測試體系+全程精細(xì)化答疑+擇校擇專業(yè)能力定位體系+全年關(guān)鍵環(huán)節(jié)指導(dǎo)體系+初試加強課+初試專屬服務(wù)+復(fù)試全科標(biāo)準(zhǔn)班服務(wù) |