2015考研英語:寫作范文批改與點評Ⅵ_跨考網(wǎng)
作文是廣大考生在考研考試中能夠取得高分的一道決定性的題,許多考生都煩惱自己的寫作能力不過關要如何提升,在這里跨考教育小編為大家收集了一些寫作范文,供大家參考,希望有助于同學們提高寫作能力。
? ? 英語作文范文:過勞死
From the picture we can see a young father died on the patient bed for the sake of(建議改為because of,for the sake of一般用來表示“為了”,后常接目的狀語) overwork and his wife is crying and mourning for him with extreme sadness,so it is with their child(改為so does their child).What a shocked scene and how thought provoking the phenomenon that the picture insinuates.What the picture intends to convey is the significance of the awareness of health.With the development of society,people commence to live in(改為live,live in表示“居住,住在”,后常跟地點狀語) a life of a rapid rate(改為a fast-paced life).They almost have no time to do some entertainments other than work.In(去掉)hence,they don’t have enough time to get enough rest.(語義和前一句重復,可刪除)Moreover,because of the life burden(改為burden of life),some husbands need to work hard to sustain their families.Some husbands even have more than one job and they are overwhelmed by the strains.Last but not least,some people don’t place an emphasis on their health and almost ignore it in daily lives(改為life,daily life為固定搭配).What they leave to their family members is grief.From my standpoint,it is imperative that effective measures should be taken to eliminate the phenomenon.For governments,they are supposed to make some accordingly policies to relieve the workers’ pressure.For workers,they must cultivate a good awareness of health and combine exertion and rest.
總體點評
文章寫得還不錯!但是應當注意詞匯選擇的準確性及句子的精簡。以后的寫作中,還是應該加強基礎的語法知識,積累并模仿高分語言佳句,使自己的表達更地道更優(yōu)美??粗愕淖魑囊惶焯煸谶M步,我們?yōu)槟愀械礁吲d,要繼續(xù)加油哦,堅持就是勝利,祝你考研成功!
2015考研閱讀:真題解析之經(jīng)濟類文章(13)[考研視頻]2022考研初復試已經(jīng)接近尾聲,考研學子全面進入2023屆備考,跨考為23考研的考生準備了10大課包全程準備、全年復習備考計劃、目標院校專業(yè)輔導、全真復試模擬練習和全程針對性指導;2023考研的小伙伴針也已經(jīng)開始擇校和復習了,跨考考研暢學5.0版本全新升級,無論你在校在家都可以更自如的完成你的考研復習,暑假集訓營帶來了院校專業(yè)初步選擇,明確方向;考研備考全年規(guī)劃,核心知識點入門;個性化制定備考方案,助你贏在起跑線,早出發(fā)一點離成功就更近一點!
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