2014考研英語寫作160篇:終點又是起點(考生作文批改及評分)_跨考網
寫作原文
As is vividly shown above, on the playground runs a young man, arriving(加at) the terminal point, which is defined as another start one(去掉), and having to go ahead without a short stop(中式思維,改為without a break). Simple as the picture is, the meaning behind it is just as an old Chinese proverb says,“Aspire to inspire until I expire.”Nothing can be equaled with(錯誤表達,應為be equal to,或用 compare with) persistence among all the human qualities. What’s more, the public attaches due attention to the above characteristic as well. Those who are perseverance (perseverant)are more likely to achieve success, compared with those who are not. Insistence saves students a great deal of time by eliminating hours spent on hesitation, so they would be able to concentrate more time and energy on their academic work and obtain excellent results. By continuous effort, not only can people accumulate wealth, but will also establish their career, fit into society, and even attain social status. Put it another way, the spirit of persistence shall not be perished from a successful person.(perish用在這里不合適,可改為if you want to be a successful man,persistence is the very thing you need to possess.)For example, Zhang haidi, having difficult in her body(中式英語,可改為having physical problems with her body,或者disabled) since five years old, without persistence, how can she accomplish her study? Without persistence, how can she be a famous writer? Without persistence, how can she be worthy of the title of “Contemporary Paul”?
總體點評
文章基本完成了試題規(guī)定的任務,包含了相關的內容要點,結尾采用舉例和反問的方式比較新穎,但是文章存在以下問題:1、文章有些許語法錯誤,應加強自己的語法基礎;2、文章運用了一些比較出彩的句式,如倒裝句,并且句子長短錯落有致。但需注意一點,句子之間的銜接應該更加恰當清晰,使人能夠快速地明白作者的思路。需在連接詞那里下功夫。3、文章有的句子很有亮點,如引用的那句名言“Aspire to inspire until I expire.”但依然有一些中式思維的句子。這一點需要作者大量模仿經典佳句,讓自己的文章不僅有亮點,而且整篇文章連貫流暢。加油,祝您考研成功!!!
參考分數(shù)(滿分20分):14
2022考研初復試已經接近尾聲,考研學子全面進入2023屆備考,跨考為23考研的考生準備了10大課包全程準備、全年復習備考計劃、目標院校專業(yè)輔導、全真復試模擬練習和全程針對性指導;2023考研的小伙伴針也已經開始擇校和復習了,跨考考研暢學5.0版本全新升級,無論你在校在家都可以更自如的完成你的考研復習,暑假集訓營帶來了院校專業(yè)初步選擇,明確方向;考研備考全年規(guī)劃,核心知識點入門;個性化制定備考方案,助你贏在起跑線,早出發(fā)一點離成功就更近一點!
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